⚖ Critical Notice: This Is Parody
The Bureau of Minor Sufferings is a work of parody and satire. It is not a real government agency. It is not affiliated with any government. Certificates carry no legal authority, no evidentiary weight, no therapeutic certification, and no official status of any kind. They are novelty documents.
1. Nature of the Service
The Bureau of Minor Sufferings ("the Site", "we", "us") is a satirical web application that generates personalized, bureaucratic-style parody certificates using AI language model technology. All certificates are works of fiction intended for entertainment, parody, and social sharing. They are not legal documents, medical records, or official acknowledgments of any kind.
2. Acceptable Use
By using this Site, you agree that you will not:
- Present any certificate from this Site as a genuine government document
- Use certificates in any legal proceeding as evidence or official documentation
- Submit descriptions of other people without a reasonable good-faith belief that they would not object
- Submit content that is defamatory, threatening, harassing, or otherwise unlawful
- Use automated tools or bots to generate large volumes of certificates
- Attempt to access sealed findings or paid certificate features without purchasing them
3. Content You Submit
You retain ownership of the descriptions you submit. By submitting content, you grant us a limited license to process that content for the purpose of generating your certificate. We do not store, retain, or use submitted content for any other purpose.
4. Intellectual Property
The design, visual identity, code, and written content of this website are owned by the site operator. The specific text generated for your individual certificate is yours for personal, non-commercial use. You may not reproduce the site's design system or template structure to create a competing service without permission.
5. Payments and Refunds
Paid upgrades are processed through Gumroad, a third-party payment processor. By making a purchase, you also agree to Gumroad's Terms of Service.
Purchased access is delivered via a license key sent to your email immediately after payment. You enter this key on the site to unlock all findings and download your complete certificate. Because the product is a digital download delivered immediately upon license key verification, all sales are final. We do not offer refunds except in cases where the license key verification failed entirely and the certificate was never fully unlocked.
6. Disclaimers
The Site is provided "as is" without warranties of any kind. We do not guarantee uninterrupted availability, as the service depends on third-party providers (Groq) that may have outages or rate limits.
Certificates do not constitute: legal advice, psychological advice, medical advice, therapeutic treatment, or any professional service. If you are experiencing a genuine mental health crisis, please contact a qualified professional.
7. Limitation of Liability
To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, the Bureau of Minor Sufferings and its operators shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising from your use of this Site.
8. Governing Law
These Terms are governed by applicable law. Given the nature of this service, we expect most concerns can be resolved through direct communication.
9. Changes to These Terms
We may update these Terms at any time. Continued use of the Site after changes are posted constitutes acceptance of the revised Terms.
10. Contact
Questions about these Terms: hello@bureauofminorsufferings.com