Official Document / Regulatory Compliance — Privacy Disclosure
Regulatory / Data Protection

Privacy Policy

Effective date: January 1, 2025 — Last updated: 2025
This Privacy Policy applies to the Bureau of Minor Sufferings website at bureauofminorsufferings.com. We are committed to being transparent about what data we handle and what we do not. The short version: we store almost nothing, and what we do process is used only to generate your certificate.

1. What We Collect

When you fill out the certificate form, the following information is submitted:

This information is transmitted to our AI processing function (hosted on Cloudflare Pages) and then to Groq's API for certificate generation. We do not store this information in any database. It is used only to generate the certificate and is discarded after processing. We do not log, save, or retain the content of your submitted descriptions.

2. What We Do NOT Collect

3. Local Storage (Your Browser)

This site uses your browser's localStorage to maintain a local case counter. This is a number stored only on your own device — it counts how many certificates have been generated and is never transmitted to our servers. You can clear this at any time by clearing your browser's local storage or site data.

Your unlock status (whether you have paid and unlocked a watermark-free certificate) is stored in sessionStorage, which is cleared automatically when you close the browser tab.

4. Payments via Gumroad

If you choose to upgrade your certificate (remove the watermark), you will be directed to Gumroad, a third-party payment processor. All payment processing is handled by Gumroad, not by us. We do not receive or store your payment card information.

Gumroad collects your email address and payment details as part of their checkout process. Their handling of that data is governed by Gumroad's own Privacy Policy, available at gumroad.com. After purchase, Gumroad may redirect you back to this site with a session unlock code in the URL — this code is stored in sessionStorage and is not transmitted to our servers.

5. Third-Party Services

This website uses the following third-party services, which may collect data as part of their standard operation:

6. Children's Privacy

This website is not directed at children under the age of 13. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children under 13. If you are a parent or guardian and believe your child has provided personal information through this site, please contact us.

7. Data Retention

As stated above, we do not store your certificate submissions. The only persistent data associated with your use of this site is a case counter number stored in your own browser's localStorage. This data exists only on your device and is never transmitted to us.

8. Your Rights

Since we do not collect or store personal information, there is no personal data held by us to access, correct, or delete. If you have questions about data collected by our third-party services (Gumroad, Google Fonts, Cloudflare, Groq), please refer to their respective privacy policies.

9. Changes to This Policy

We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. The effective date at the top of this page will reflect the date of the most recent revision. Continued use of the site after changes are posted constitutes acceptance of the revised policy.

10. Contact

If you have questions about this Privacy Policy, you may contact us at the email address provided in your Gumroad receipt (for paying customers) or via the contact form at bureauofminorsufferings.com/about.

This Privacy Policy is provided in good faith for a parody website. The Bureau of Minor Sufferings is not a real government agency and has no government data-handling obligations. That said, we genuinely respect your privacy.