Your description is not stored. When you submit the form, your text is sent to an AI provider to generate your certificate. After that, it is discarded. No database. No record.
Your data is never used to train AI. The Bureau is a consumer of AI services, not an AI trainer. Your description is used to generate one certificate and nothing else.
This is not a therapy or wellness tool. The Bureau is a parody of bureaucratic formality. It generates a comedic document. It is not therapy, emotional support, or a health service.
No tracking. No ads. No account. No advertising cookies. No third-party trackers. No registration required. Paid access uses a license key stored only in your own browser.
1. What We Collect
When you fill out the certificate form, the following information is submitted to our AI processor:
- The name you enter for the certificate recipient
- The complaint description you provide
- Duration and filer name fields (if filled in)
- The complaint classification you select
This information is transmitted to our AI processing function (hosted on Cloudflare Pages) and then to Groq's API for certificate generation. We do not store this information in any database. It is used only to generate the certificate and is discarded after processing.
2. What We Do NOT Collect
- We do not collect your email address (unless you choose to pay via Gumroad — see Section 4)
- We do not use tracking cookies or advertising networks
- We do not sell data to third parties
- We do not require account registration
- We do not store IP addresses beyond what Cloudflare's infrastructure logs automatically
3. Browser Storage (Your Device Only)
This site uses your browser's localStorage to store one thing on your own device only — it is never transmitted to our servers:
- Bureau Membership key — if you are a paying Bureau Member, your membership license key is saved in localStorage so that your full certificate access (all findings unlocked) persists automatically on that device across browser sessions. Clearing your browser's site data will remove this key, and you will need to re-enter it once.
You can clear all locally stored data at any time by clearing your browser's site data for this domain.
4. Payments via Gumroad
If you choose to upgrade your certificate, you will be directed to Gumroad, a third-party payment processor. We do not receive or store your payment card information. After purchase, Gumroad emails you a license key. You enter this key on the site to verify your purchase — the key is then stored in your browser's localStorage as described in Section 3.
5. Third-Party Services
- Google Fonts — Fonts loaded from fonts.googleapis.com. Google may log IP and browser information for font requests.
- Groq API — Form submissions are processed by Groq's API for AI certificate generation. See groq.com/legal/privacy-policy.
- Cloudflare Pages — This site is hosted on Cloudflare Pages which may collect standard server access logs. See cloudflare.com/privacypolicy.
6. Children's Privacy
This website is not directed at children under the age of 13. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children under 13.
7. Data Retention
We do not store your certificate submissions server-side. The only persistent data is stored in your own browser's localStorage as described in Section 3 and is never transmitted to us.
8. Your Rights
Since we do not collect or store personal information server-side, there is no personal data held by us to access, correct, or delete. For data collected by third-party services, refer to their respective privacy policies.
9. Changes to This Policy
We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. The effective date at the top of this page reflects the most recent revision. Continued use constitutes acceptance.
10. Contact
Questions about this Privacy Policy: hello@bureauofminorsufferings.com
The Bureau of Minor Sufferings is not a real government agency and has no government data-handling obligations. That said, we genuinely respect your privacy.