The Bureau of Minor Sufferings is a parody digital product — a fictional U.S. federal agency that issues hyper-formal, bureaucratic certificates acknowledging the small but real traumas of everyday life.
We exist because the world does not have enough forms acknowledging the following: the relationship that gaslit you, the meeting that could have been an email, the three years you were the only functional adult in the room, and the Tuesday that broke you for reasons you cannot fully explain to a therapist.
We are not a real government agency. We are not affiliated with the United States government, the Department of Health and Human Services, or any other federal body. Dr. E. Calloway is a fictional character. All certificates are parody documents intended for entertainment and validation purposes.
But the feeling of being seen? That part is real.
You describe your suffering in the intake form on our homepage. You tell us what happened, for how long, and in what category of anguish it falls. Our AI document generator — powered by advanced language models — processes your case and generates a personalized certificate in the official Bureau format.
The certificate uses formal government language to document your experience with total seriousness and clinical precision. The humor is not in the language. The humor is in the format. The validation is real.
Free certificates are issued with a Bureau watermark. Paid plans ($9.99 and $14.99 one-time, or $4.99/month for unlimited) remove the watermark and deliver a high-resolution PNG you can print, frame, gift, or post.
The Gift Bundle ($19.99) lets you file a certificate on behalf of someone else — a friend, a family member, anyone whose suffering has gone undocumented for too long.
For support, refund requests, or license key issues, email us at: hello@bureauofminorsufferings.com
We respond within 24–48 hours on business days. For Gumroad purchase issues, you can also contact Gumroad support directly — they manage all payment processing.
For press inquiries, celebrity trauma documentation, or bulk certificate orders, use the same email with the subject line: FORMAL INQUIRY.